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How to Get Good at Small Talk, and Even Enjoy It

Harvard Business Review2 HN recommenders · recommended in 3 months, 2024-2026
YouTube
2.7M views · 3 years ago · tutorial · evergreen

A Harvard Business Review video with tactics for getting better at small talk and enjoying it, such as setting goals, allowing pauses, and starting and ending conversations.

HN commenters share it as a short, practical resource for people who struggle with small talk.

Productivity & self-improvementPsychology & human behavior#smalltalk#socialskills#conversation#communication

4 comments from Hacker News

@jodrellblank2026 · in “Am I a Bad Friend?”

Literally any way. If you're nearly a professional athlete then "how do I improve?" has very few answers that could help, and many ways that won't, but if you're a couch potato then anything is better than nothing. Any movement or club, from walking to bodyweight exercise, community hall dance group, exercise bike, treadmill, gym club spin class, climbing gym, Starting Strength, Couch to 5K running podcasts, Pilates, Yoga, Martial Arts, frisbee, volunteering to walk dogs - anything at all is an improvement. Any book, blog, video, article, about developing social skills will have some ideas and approaches. Asking anyone - family member, counsellor, therapist, doctor, coworker, stranger in the street - for ideas could give you some. Take anything other people do and google "how do I learn that?" and try some of the suggestions. Charisma On Command channel: link Harvard Business Review on enjoying smalltalk: ▶ this video Dr Burns on empathic communication: link Dr Burns on stop trying to "be somebody" and dare to be Average: link Dr Burns on stopping criticising yourself with "I should XYZ" to everything you do or don't do: link anything on improving your fashion, haircut, body language, giving genuine compliments, making people feel happier around you, helping interactions feel fun and less like a competition you have to win, how to start conversations, how to keep conversations going, how jokes work, some jokes to memorise. Imagine all the "how do I learn programming?" post

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@latexr2026 · in “Am I a Bad Friend?”

> There is only a faint aftertaste of missing out, which sticks to me like tar. I can’t wash it off. Sure you can. There are various paths to it, some outlined in sibling comments, and here’s another one: Pick up the phone and call or text some of those people you wish you had kept in contact with. Don’t have their contacts anymore? Ask someone who might or find them on social media. What do you say to them? “Hey, I was recently thinking of <that time you did something together> and felt like reaching out. How have you been doing?”. Maybe beforehand “collect” some relevant events which have happened to your life since you last met, so you have something at the ready to keep the conversation going if you need. I’m not saying rehearse it, just have them in mind. If you need some small talk tips, see this short video. ▶ this video

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@latexr2026 · in “Ask HN: How to approach new people in 2026?”

Right now on the front page: link Also interesting and somewhat related: link If you struggle with small talk: ▶ this video But to give a piece of advice not from a comment, is there any interest you have which other people may share and gather for? If you like games, for example, a local game shop is a good place to meet others. There’s usually always someone there, they tend to be welcoming to newcomers, and having something to do (play a game) can make you forget some of the awkwardness.

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@Agentus2024 · in “How to grow professional relationships”

small talk isnt pointless if done with an aim. this video help explains that link . seduction as applied to conversation. also rather mundane conversation can be fun if done in the right manner. this video talks more on the right manner: ▶ this video

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